this has been a strange week. tuesday, i went to the post office, because i had been tracking the package cassie sent me and it said it was in taos. so, i head into town that morning. i pick up a hitchhiker about a 1/4 mile from house, he was a hippy dude, he'S really nice and my neighbor down a ways. we get a mile or two, still on the dirt roads of the mesa, and the truck breaks down. it was a good thing that i picked up jon because he helped me push it to the side and gives me the contact of his mechanic. i really want that package, so i decide to hitch with him into town. one of his friends pick us up WHILE WE ARE STILL ON THE MESA and i get dropped off at the post office. i get my package and a lovely letter from judy. i walk back towards 64 and the gorge bridge and stop at the taos diner to have lunch. while i am eating, justin messages me - psychic connection since i was about to tell him about his truck. he tells me to take it to the guy across the main road from the house, so basically a neighbor. i eat lunch. i get a ride back to the mesa from a really nice person from maine, so we talk east coast nostalgia. i get to the truck and it starts, but idles really high and i get about a mile from the house and it dies again, this time being aware, i veer it to the side. as i begin to abandon the truck to walk home, the mechanic the hitchhiker hooked me up with calls me back. i tell him i only need a tow and he says he'll be there in hour and half. i wait two hours and then bail. as i'm walking, this red truck pulls up, mind you most people stopped by to see if i needed help, and he says 'is that justin's truck?'. i say yep and he tells me he's my neighbor who works on justin's truck and he'll give me a tow and fix it for me. now it's late in the afternoon, so he drops me back at the house after we tow it to his and he tells me he'll BRING IT BY tomorrow. wednesday afternoon, he comes over with truck in working order and charges me $20 and a ride home.
needless to say tuesday was not a studio day. but the rest of the week have yielded some drawings:
i have also started several portraits and have been working in the sketchbook building ideas for some larger works.
i was writing out how i spend most my days here and it was boring, so i made this diagram:
*note i think IN REAL LIFE studio time might be a lil bigger and netflix and lil smaller but ya know, it gets dark eventually and then it's hard to make work here with weak led lights.
I'VE BEEN IN A FAIRLY DECENT DAILY ROUTINE. FEELING GOOD ABOUT WORKING OUT EVERYDAY, FEELING OKAY ABOUT THE WORK I'M MAKING (REALLY EXCITED FOR WHAT'S TO COME WITH MY WORK), WORRYING A LOT ABOUT WHAT TO DO NEXT, AFTER TAOS. SUCH A HUGE PART OF THE MISSION OF LIVING IN HONEY IS CULMINATING HERE IN TAOS. I AM NOT WORKING, I AM ISOLATED, I HAVE RESOURCES, I HAVE TIME, I HAVE HAD RECENT ADVENTURES AND HEARTBREAK AND LOSS AND TRIALS AND tribulations, I HAVE ALL THE INGREDIENTS TO RESTART MY PRACTICE AS AN ARTIST, TO MAKE A NEW BODY OF WORK, TO DISCOVER A STRONGER VOICE.
AND I AM DOING THOSE THINGS, BUT SOMETIMES IT FEELS AT A CRAWL. AND IT HARD TO CLEAR YOUR MIND FROM WORRY AND DISTRACTIONS SO YOU CAN FOCUS ON THIS TASK OF GROWTH. THE GROWTH IS IN CLEARING YOUR MIND.
THE BIGGEST CONCERN IS WHAT COMES NEXT. I HAVE LOOKED AT SOME TEACHING JOBS, RESEARCHED residencies, LOOKED AT ILLUSTRATORS AND eTSY SHOPS, BRAINSTORMED, SOUL SEARCHED. HERE'S WHERE I AM AT, I THINK: I DON'T WANT TO TEACH FULL TIME. YES TO TEACHING: OCCASIONAL ADJUNCT WORK, WORKSHOPS, SKILL SHARES, COMMUNITY CENTERS, AND OTHER SPACES THAT NEED OUTREACH. I WANT TO MAKE WORK EVERYDAY. I WANT TO DRAW EVERYDAY. AND IF I can JUST PUT CONCERNS OF THE FUTURE TO the SIDE, I CAN MAKE A LOT OF WORK EVERYDAY, RIGHT NOW.
I'M WORKING ON IT. WE'RE ALL WORKING ON IT. FEELINGS GET THE BEST OF US SOMETIMES.
SINCE I RARELY GO OUT INTO THE WORLD, I RARELY USE HAIRBRUSH ANYMORE. AM I STILL CUTE?